


The Dummies Guide to Pokémon Go

by Milliaswan



Series: Pokémon Go Shenanigans! [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Brief mention of Karasuno, M/M, Our Seijoh 3rd years being as loveable as ever, Pokemon GO - Freeform, Pokemon!, Teasing, Trash Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7519672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milliaswan/pseuds/Milliaswan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi is forcibly shown the basics of Pokémon Go and he is not impressed. At all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dummies Guide to Pokémon Go

**Author's Note:**

> This was the end result of about 12 hours of road trip, and an inability to play Pokémon Go due to said road trip with its total lack of gyms and Pokéstops. Also no intentional team bashing in this fic (I support team peace!). Enjoy :)

He had definitely missed something important, Iwaizumi thought, staring at his surroundings with total confusion. One moment everything at Aoba Jousai was as typical as it could be for a high school, the next moment everyone seemed to have their phone out for some reason, tapping and swiping madly, and finally, walking back and forth seemingly at random for no particular reason that Iwaizumi could see.  
  
Iwaizumi roughly grabbed Oikawa's jumper before his face met an unfortunate end with the nearby tree. Oikawa let out a yelp of surprise, briefly looking up from his phone and registering the presence of the tree in front of him, before moving out of its path and returning to his prior, focused state.  
  
"Oikawa, what the hell is going on?" Iwaizumi motioned to his surroundings, in particular to a group of students huddled on the steps nearby, muttering under their breath as they tapped on their phones. Oikawa ignored him, continuing to move forward with his face practically buried in his phone screen.  
  
"Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, I guess Oikawa was right when he said you're as dense as a rock." Hanamaki and Matsukawa glided forward from their positions behind Iwaizumi, both placing their hands on his shoulders, one on each side. There were looks of pity on their faces that made Iwaizumi grimace as they continued their explanation.  
  
"This is where it is all at." Hanamaki lowered his voice, doing his best game show host impersonation as he waved his phone in front of Iwaizumi's face.  
  
"My life has changed ever since I downloaded this." Matsukawa joined in, looking as if he had attained the ultimate enlightenment in life.  
  
"Mattsun, Makki it's a Charizard by the school gates!" Oikawa suddenly screeched from ahead, pointing wildly at said gate. As if they had been waiting for Oikawa's remark, at least half of the zombie-like students started moving towards the gates, increasing their focus on their phones as they marched forward. It also led to the start of the _whispers_ that suddenly sprung up around Iwaizumi, sounding almost like a pack of bees zeroing in on their unfortunate target.  
  
"Did you hear that?"  
  
"I caught it!" 

“Nooooo, don’t run away!”  
  
"Ah Iwaizumi, excuse us for a minute, I need to get this Charizard." Hanamaki patted Iwaizumi's shoulder one last time before running behind Oikawa and Matsukawa, leaving Iwaizumi standing where they had left him, mouth open in shock. He blinked several more times, but confirmed that he was not imagining the sight of three of his closest friends running towards the school gates like lunatics, phones in hand.  
  
"Just what the hell is going on?" Iwaizumi let out his frustrations to an audience of exactly zero. He could not quite absorb the image of Oikawa, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa swiping madly at their phone and swearing, trying to catch something imaginary. Suddenly, Oikawa let out a cry of victory, jumping and waving his phone at Hanamaki's face.  
  
"Hah, look at my 900cp Charizard…." Oikawa quickly peeked over at Matsukawa's screen, already convinced at his superiority, smirk widening as he confirmed his suspicions. "…Compared to your measly 50cp one."

Charizard? It was a name that sounded vaguely familiar, one that Iwaizumi recollected from his childhood. It took Iwaizumi several seconds to make the connection, and when he did his stomach nearly sank in his disbelief. No. They were not talking about what Iwaizumi was thinking they were talking about.  
  
"You got lucky this time, _alienkawa_ ," Matsukawa hissed in response, his eyes swearing revenge that had only previously been promised to Shiratorizawa.  
  
"You're just bitter because you know it's more than that. I'm just the better player." Oikawa looked positively angelic as he waved at Hanamaki and Matsukawa like he would his fangirls, returning his focus to his phone and leaving through the school gates. The spring in his step was clearly noticeable.  
  
Iwaizumi approached Hanamaki and Matsukawa several seconds later, face unable to contain his astonishment as he digested the scene that he had just observed.  
  
"Is this all," Iwaizumi’s arms indicated the remaining student body still glued to their phones, "about Pokémon? And where the hell did Oikawa run off to?"  
  
"He figured it out," Matsukawa said lazily, presenting his open palm to Hanamaki. Hanamaki grimaced, handing Matsukawa a 1000 yen note that had been stuffed into his pocket, and throwing Iwaizumi a slightly annoyed expression in response. "And to answer your questions, Iwaizumi, the answers are one and the same."  
  
"Please enlighten me." Iwaizumi wore the no-nonsense face he usually used solely with Oikawa. This was starting to get ridiculous.  
  
"Oikawa's gone to Karasuno," Hanamaki said casually, like he was merely announcing tomorrow’s weather.  
  
"Karasuno?” Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in shock. “Kusokawa better not be going there to make trouble. Is he being rude to Kageyama again?" Iwaizumi's panic was apparent as he considered every possible scenario where things could go wrong, and how he could possibly repair any damage that was done.  
  
"He's gone to reclaim the gym there. Someone knocked out his poor Butterfree from the gym this morning." Matsukawa shook his head sadly, Iwaizumi not buying for a second the sympathy that Matsukawa attempted to show. "That Sugawara is far nastier than he appears."  
  
"He's done an excellent job looking after the Karasuno gym for team Valor," Hanamaki added, not bothering to conceal the smirk on his face.  
  
"I'm sorry, could you please speak in a language I understand?" Iwaizumi said, unamused and unable to truly grasp the meaning of what was currently being discussed. "I still don't understand why this is such a big deal."

Mock horror appeared on both Hanamaki’s and Matsukawa’s expression as they crept closer to Iwaizumi, invading his personal space.

"Iwa-chan, we must introduce you to the greatness that is Pokémon Go," Hanamaki said, voice far too close to Iwaizumi’s right ear.  
  
"Don't call me Iwa-chan," Iwaizumi snapped, feeling a vein starting to pulse on his forehead.  
  
"You let Oikawa," Matsukawa shot back, giving Hanamaki another significant look as they both smirked.  
  
"Shut up." Iwaizumi currently felt like a chew toy being shared around by a pack of wolves, and was not enjoying himself one bit.  
  
"As my dear Makki was saying, we must introduce you to the glorious world that you are missing out on. And what better opportunity than a gym battle where we claim Oikawa's gym for team Valor again!" The seriousness on Matsukawa’s face was akin to that before a match with Shiratorizawa. Iwaizumi seriously feared for their priorities and his own sanity. The vein on his forehead throbbed again.  
  
"Great idea, bro! Quickly, before Oikawa comes back. Iwaizumi, you're coming with us!" Iwaizumi did not have the chance to protest before Hanamaki grabbed his arm, pulling him out of school with Matsukawa following closely behind, cackling under his breath.  
  
Iwaizumi had been willing to excuse Hanamaki's and Matsukawa's behaviour had they been able to get whatever they wanted to show him over and done with. But no, not only were the pair focused intently on their phones as they slowly walked forwards (Iwaizumi was also certain that Hanamaki was constantly turning his phone upside down and then upright again for some reason), they just _had_ to keep stopping at random locations so Hanamaki and Matsukawa could properly swipe at their phones or something.  
  
The fifth time this happened, Iwaizumi had enough, stopping in his tracks.  
  
"Whatever you guys are doing, I'm done," he announced, crossing his arms as a sign of displeasure. He knew Hanamaki and Matsukawa could feel the aura of doom radiating off him.  
  
"Wait _wait_ Iwaizumi, we're merely collecting some items," Hanamaki said with what he believed was a suitable explanation, pulling Iwaizumi over so he could better show him his phone. "We're collecting Pokéballs so we can catch more Pokémon."  
  
"And some potions to heal our Pokémon. Oikawa always tortures my poor babies at the gym." Matsukawa wiped an imaginary tear away, seeming to relieve those defeats in his mind as he scrolled through the descriptions for multiple types of potion for Iwaizumi’s benefit.  
  
"I don't really care though." And Iwaizumi really bloody didn't. If Oikawa had somehow picked up an activity without needing Iwaizumi to participate, then he was going to bask in the limited freedom that it gave him from Oikawa's constant attention.  
  
"You will, you will." Iwaizumi did not trust the smiles that only promised trouble, Hanamaki's and Matsukawa’s eyes both gleaming with anticipation.  
  
Their phones vibrated almost simultaneously. As both Hanamaki’s and Matsukawa's attentions were once again drawn to their phones, Iwaizumi threw them the death glare normally reserved for Oikawa. He knew his message was well received when the pair suddenly stiffened.  
  
"Ok, we understand Iwaizumi," Hanamaki said, turning around with his hands raised, as if he were talking to a wild animal. "We'll just catch this Pikachu as we walk ok? We're nearly there."  
  
"Five minutes Iwaizumi. Give us five more minutes." Iwaizumi did not appreciate the way Matsukawa moved towards him as he spoke, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and effectively cutting off any possible escape unless Iwaizumi was willing to dislocate some arms. At this point, he hadn't quite reached that stage of sheer frustration. Yet.  
  
"Five minutes, and I will end this madness, got it?" Those two were lucky that Iwaizumi did not have a volleyball with him, or they would not know what hit them before Iwaizumi fled the scene.  
  
"This is why Iwaizumi is our vice-captain," Hanamaki grinned, akin to a Cheshire cat.  
  
"We need this kind of authority to keep our captain in line," Matsukawa added, waggling his thick eyebrows suggestively. They started walking again, Matsukawa and Hanamaki both swiping as their screens as they madly attempted to catch Pikachu, whilst also being careful to ensure that Iwaizumi did not suddenly slip from their grasp.  
  
"Four minutes." Iwaizumi's patience was dwindling rapidly by the second.  
  
"Have no fear Iwa-chan, let us introduce you to the gym!" As Hanamaki made his grand announcement, both Hanamaki and Matsukawa gestured dramatically to the building they were standing in front of. However, Iwaizumi was fairly certain they were standing in front of the local post office. No banners, fanfare, or anything out of the ordinary could be seen. The only thing that wasn't normally there was the adult sitting on the steps leading to the entrance, tapping away on his phone. It was definitely a post office.  
  
"It's the post office," Iwaizumi pointed out for emphasis, supremely unimpressed. His patience had officially reached zero.  
  
"This is where it begins," Hanamaki announced proudly, waving his phone widely in front of Iwaizumi, but too quickly for him to completely see what was displayed on-screen. "This is the team I'll wreck Oikawa's gym with."  
  
"It seems we have help," Matsukawa added, nodding covertly at the adult currently sitting on the steps. "What team?" Matsukawa yelled, louder, this time towards the adult on the step. Iwaizumi nearly felt like weeping in response. Was he the only soul who had escaped from this Pokémon craze?  
  
"Valor! You?" the adult yelled back. Both Hanamaki and Matsukawa released a sigh of relief, as Hanamaki muttered under his breath. “Good thing he isn’t Instinct, that would be awkward.”  
  
"Us reds are the best. Let's take this gym." Matsukawa fist-pumped at the adult, who sent him a thumbs-up in response. It was at this point that Iwaizumi decided that the world had officially gone mad. All this energy and sneaking around for _Pokémon_?    
  
"I'll show Iwaizumi the ropes of this," Hanamaki declared, pulling Iwaizumi closer as Matsukawa's focus returned to his phone.  
  
"The post office looks far more exciting on mobile," Hanamaki whispered to Iwaizumi, who was feeling more like an accomplice to crime with every passing second. Iwaizumi looked closely at Hanamaki's screen, noting the tower with a rotating blue symbol on it that seemed to be his focus.  
  
"That's a gym?" Iwaizumi asked, feeling that as he was already knee-deep in this mess that he was unable to get out unscathed anyway.  
  
"Indeed. And if we go in..." Hanamaki tapped on the gym, tutting at the next screen that appeared. "Oikawa and his Vaporeon are currently leader as they have the highest combat points, but I have Sparky the Jolteon ready just for this encounter."  
  
Iwaizumi also noted that Oikawa's user name seemed to be _alienkawa_. And that Hanamaki’s was _memeking69._ Some things never changed.  
  
"Makki, you ready?" Matsukawa yelled out, making eye contact with Hanamaki as he slowly raised his phone.

Hanamaki nodded slowly in response, also raising his phone, smile getting wider on his face by the second as he started counting down.  
  
"3...2...1…Valor, Go!"  
  
Hanamaki pressed the fight button resembling a boxing glove with a dramatic flourish of his hand, his Jolteon instantly meeting Oikawa's Vaporeon on-screen. Iwaizumi noted another Pokémon in the background looking like a pissed off Poké ball that he didn't recognise but assumed belonged to Matsukawa.  
  
Then the tapping game began, Hanamaki’s and Matsukawa's faces both focused and intent on their screen as they tapped. It was a wonder that their screen had not cracked yet from the pressure that they were currently applying.  
  
"Eat that electricity, Vaporeon! Lol he called it 'Leia', Mattsun!" Hanamaki's face was alight with excitement as Leia the Vaporeon's health bar closely edged closer to zero. Matsukawa snickered in response, noticing the name displayed on-screen for the first time.  
  
"Makki, it's up to you, the 1HP glitch has claimed me." Matsukawa fell back onto the nearby stair, shaking his head and giving his phone a disappointed look.  
  
"Your sacrifice won't be in vain!" Hanamaki declared, this time holding his finger on his phone screen instead of tapping. He turned towards Iwaizumi, smiling victoriously. "This is my Jolteon's special move.” Hanamaki released his finger from his screen, and Iwaizumi noted how the attack animation this time was significantly different to the others that he had observed. “And with this, Valor reclaims the post office gym!"  
  
Iwaizumi was not sure what facial expression he should use as the other three camped by the post office let out a cheer in response to Hanamaki’s declaration. He edged closer as Hanamaki and Matsukawa whispered conspiratorially, looking through each other's phones as they compared their Pokémon.  
  
"Put Snorlax up, bet Oikawa can't take him out." Hanamaki pointed enthusiastically to a rather round (if Iwaizumi was being kind), Pokémon on Matsukawa’s phone.  
  
"If you put in Kangaskhan," Matsukawa retorted, the pair staring at each other for a second before giving each other a high five as they agreed.  
  
"Done!" they said simultaneously, tapping on their phones a few more times as they added in their Pokémon to the newly vacated gym.  
  
"Are you done yet?" Iwaizumi interrupted, but somehow understanding part of the attraction of the game – competition was something that ran in his veins. It would also be funny to have a new avenue to seek revenge on Oikawa with, but he still was not into using a Pokémon mobile app as an avenue for it yet.  
  
"Mattsun, Makki, what have you done to my dear Leia!" Iwaizumi could recognise that whine anywhere as Oikawa stomped forward, looking like a five year old whose candy just gotten stolen. His normally perfect hair was badly windswept, and he looked as if he had just walked out of a war zone with the unusually messy state of his school uniform.  
  
" _alienkawa_ , we merely claimed what was rightfully ours," Hanamaki proclaimed, looking triumphantly at Oikawa who was now practically fuming as he continued his approach.  
  
"And we're going to invite your dear Iwa-chan into Valor, too," Matsukawa added, enjoying their combined teasing of Oikawa and the reactions it was getting out of him. Oikawa turned towards Iwaizumi, his serious game face on as he registered exactly what Matsukawa said.  
  
"Iwa-chan, please don't tell me that these lowly reds have strayed you from the correct path?" Oikawa asked in a low tone, the one that he normally reserved for threatening people as he slowly approached Iwaizumi.  
  
"What exactly is this 'correct path'?" Iwaizumi asked, pretty much done and starting to take a step back. This Pokémon nonsense was getting completely out of hand. It was worse than when Oikawa forced him to marathon the entire Aliens franchise in a night, the night that Iwaizumi had learnt several new things about Oikawa that had nearly scarred him for life.  
  
"Team Mystic, where only those possessing true wisdom and calm analysis of every situation see the true path." Oikawa puffed out his chest proudly as he declared his allegiances, throwing Hanamaki and Matsukawa a look of pity one would give to the ant they were about to step on.  
  
"You're just bitter because you know Valor is better. We’re all about true strength." Observing the shit-eating grin on both Hanamaki and Matsukawa's faces as Hanamaki introduced Valor to Iwaizumi, Iwaizumi nearly felt sorry for Oikawa. Nearly. Iwaizumi would probably call it karma in light of Oikawa’s past annoyances towards them all.  
  
"That’s good to hear," Iwaizumi said finally, responding to the expectant looks on everyone’s faces after several seconds of silence. "Goodbye, and enjoy your virtual gym battles."  
  
Iwaizumi did not look back as the trio he left behind all called for his attention.

* * *

Iwaizumi would outwardly maintain that it was out of his annoyance with Pokémon Go and its players that led him to download the game so he could avoid all relevant player hot spots.  
  
However, later that week when Matsukawa let out a cry of outrage in the middle of the school yard during recess, staring at his phone with horror, Iwaizumi let out a smirk that could only be described as devilish.  
  
Yes, he could definitely understand the sense of satisfaction that ran through his veins when defeating someone. It was good, no it felt _great_. Bonus points when the defeated was Hanamaki or Matsukawa. There was also nothing like seeing the expression on Oikawa’s face when he thoroughly crushed something that was bothering him, an expression that Iwaizumi secretly admitted that he enjoyed watching as they played together.  
  
"Now they feel my pain," Oikawa grinned in satisfaction, letting out a sound of pleasure as he chewed through his milk bread and observed the scene of despair before him.  
  
" _GodzillaMaster_ is much more of a challenging gym leader than _alienkawa_ , anyway," Iwaizumi decided to add in response, resisting the urge to smirk even wider at Oikawa's sudden burst of outrage as he nearly choked on his milk bread.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who haven't played Pokémon Go before (just to clear a few references up), players can choose one of three teams to join after they reach level 5 - Valor (Red), Mystic (Blue), and Instinct (Yellow).
> 
> Notes in hindsight: I didn't realise at the time that only you can see the Pokémon that you nicknamed, and that Kangaskhan was region exclusive to Australia because they spawn like everywhere lol...


End file.
